Leaders who coach choose the situation where it is most appropriate to use their coaching skills, for example when they want to help a colleague think things through and come up with their own conclusions.
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When someone comes to you with an idea of something they want to do, but they’re still wondering about it, instead of jumping in to give them all sorts of advice, try adopting a coaching posture by asking these 4 questions.
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Feedback is a dialogue, it requires trust and openness between the giver and the receiver of the feedback. Using coaching skills can help you give feedback in a way that is respectful, authentic and oriented towards improvement and growth.
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Leader Coach Video Tutorials
Leaders who coach tend to refrain from giving quick solutions. Instead they ask open questions to enable their colleagues to come up with their own ideas.
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Most people who attend my workshops know that I believe coaching is not only reserved for managers who coach their direct reports. Coaching shouldn’t be a hierarchical privilege; not at all. Coaching is a communication style that everyone can adopt, it’s an attitude, it’s a way of conversing with others so that they can develop or clarify their ideas, motivations and actions.
So, given this premise, you can absolutely coach your boss in a variety of situations. A foundation coaching skill is the ability to ask open-ended questions. These can help you have very fruitful coaching conversations with your boss.
For example, you have been given an assignment and it’s not very clear. Often, we receive rush assignments in the workplace like… get this done, do this, solve that, and we don’t get many details around the issue. Sometimes we might waste a lot of time going in the wrong direction. So, you’re better off having a short conversation with your boss, coaching him to understand what they want, what is really at stake, and how it may affect other projects you have going.
You can start by asking your boss a very simple but powerful question: “I have this project, but what is the outcome that you really want?” You might be surprised to receive many more details then you were previously given. This simple question will give your boss the opportunity to be more specific about the ideal outcome for themselves and for the organization.
The next question you might ask is, “Who else is involved?” You want to get an idea of what other departments, clients, and stakeholders may be affected by this project. You also need to understand the wider context. Sometimes you’re cooped up in your corner doing the task but you don’t have the complete picture, so, don’t forget to ask “What is the larger context of this task?”
Then you might ask for support. For instance, “Are you able to help me with resources from other departments?” Or, “How will we find the support I need to get some funding for this?” Make sure that you involve your boss in providing you the resources you need in order to complete the project in a timely and satisfactory manner.
You will also need to clarify the deadlines. If they are very short, and you have many projects lined up, it may not be possible. Don’t be shy to ask questions to make sure the priorities are clear, such as “When is this project due?” “How flexible are you in this deadline?” “How shall I prioritize when there are other ‘urgent’ projects?”
These are valid and legitimate questions whatever your role is, whether you are a project manager, an IT developer, an executive assistant, or a sales-person. Don’t assume that things are clear. The only way to avoid misunderstandings is to have a clear and open dialogue. So make sure to you ask open-ended questions to clarify everything that your boss wants in terms of output and execution on any project.
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“Meet my books” video series. Joseph O’Connor and Andrea Lages have written an excellent, in-depth introductory book on coaching that you will certainly enjoy!
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Leadership conjures different images to different people. Not all of them are attractive, so not everyone wants to be associated with the notion of being a leader. It’s really not surprising, given the number of unsavoury “leaders” in the political or business spheres that we hear about on the news.
Leadership implies doing good as well as producing results
As a refreshing alternative, I’m inviting you to look at the term “leadership” as it is used in studies on organizational leadership by both academics and practitioners. There is no single agreed-upon definition of leadership, although there is a general shared sense of leadership being benevolent, inspiring and a skill set that can be learned by everyone.
Let’s start with a few quotes by well-known authors:
“The fundamental task of leaders, we argue, is to prime good feelings in those they lead. That occurs when a leader creates resonance – a reservoir of positivity that frees the best in people. At it’s root, then, the primal job of leadership is emotional” …..
Daniel Goleman in The New Leaders.“Transformational leaders motivate others to do more than they originally intended and often even more than they thought possible.”
Bernard Bass and Ronald Riggio in Transformational Leadership.“Leadership is a process of social influence which maximizes the efforts of others toward the achievement of a greater good.”
Travis Bradberry in What Really Makes a Good Leader?“Research indicates that the highest performing managers and leaders are the most open and caring. The best leaders demonstrate more affection toward others and want others to be more open with them. They are more positive and passionate, more loving and compassionate, and more grateful and encouraging than their lower performing counterparts.”
James M. Kouzes, in The Truth about Leadership: The No-Fads, Heart-Of-The-Matter Facts You Need to KnowSo you see, when talking about leadership there seems to be more than a hint at benevolence and at doing good. Rather than being a matter of titles, power and command, leadership is about creating value, drawing the best out of others, being an inspiration, working for the good of a wider community. Does that sound more attractive? Might bringing the best out of others be something you want to identify with? Or perhaps it’s being connected to a higher purpose?
Everyone has leadership skills
Let’s take it a step further. Let’s argue that leadership does not belong exclusively to the higher ranks. In fact, people in high positions may be appointed as leaders in an institution and have scarce leadership skills. Here are a couple of unequivocal quotes on this aspect of leadership:
“Leadership has nothing to do with seniority or one’s position in the hierarchy of a company. Too many talk about a company’s leadership referring to the senior most executives in the organization. They are just that, senior executives. Leadership doesn’t automatically happen when you reach a certain pay grade. Hopefully you find it there, but there are no guarantees.”
Travis Bradberry in What Really Makes a Good Leader?“What we have discovered and rediscovered, is that leadership is not the private reserve of a few charismatic men and women. It is a process ordinary people use when the bring forth the best from themselves and others. When the leader in everyone is liberated, extraordinary things happen.”
James Kousez and Barry Posner in The Leadership ChallengeLeadership is thus something that everyone exhibits at some point or other in their lives, at work or in the private sphere. Do you recognize some episode in your life as a leadership moment? Perhaps that time when you had to organize a family event, getting everyone’s agreement, finding volunteers, smoothing out potential conflicts? Or when you led your neighborhood sports club to achieve something big for them? Or when you pushed yourself beyond your limits, exercising some strong self-leadership, to get something difficult done? Does any of this sound familiar? I bet you can remember at least one time in your life where you exhibited leadership skills. Would that inspire you to develop them more?
Grow the leadership skills you already have
To summarize, the two key points that I’m making here today are:
- Leadership implies being ethical and doing good.
- Leadership is a set of behaviours that everyone has and can develop.
Most people can identify with these two concepts. They are reachable and reflect the aspirations of a majority of humans, who mostly want to do good and want to use their compentencies with purpose.
If you decide to develop your leadership skills further it will mean learning how to:
a) lead yourself, set meaningful goals and achieve them, adopt positive mindsets that make you a creative and dynamic problem-solver, manage your emotions to become empathic and resilient, develop self-confidence and presence, learn how to set boundaries.
b) lead others, develop and empower the people around you whether they’re family, friends or colleagues; communicate clearly and honestly, learn how to coach to enable others to demonstrate their potential, be empathic, generous and compassionate, say no when necessary, be strong and stand up for your principles, be an inspiring role model, produce outstanding results together with others.
Good leadership is very important for organizational life but perhaps more importantly, enhancing your leadership skills is good for you!
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Photo credit: Kylie Haulk
©2019 Saba Imru-Mathieu, Founding Partner, Leaders Today
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“Meet my books” video series. Edited by Gladeana McMahon and Anne Archer, this excellent book presents a wide variety of coaching tools that are easy to use for any coaching professional.
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As a leader, it’s not always easy to have constructive conversations with employees. In fact, some leaders dread addressing negative behaviors, or on the other hand, they are stingy about offering positive reinforcement.
So, let’s see what Leaders who coach do when it comes to providing helpful feedback. Primarily, they engage with colleagues on a regular basis. That means, throughout the year they are continuously exchanging ideas with the people they supervise, their peers, and the company’s clients, regarding the quality of the products and services.
Moreover, giving and receiving feedback is ingrained in their leadership style and, by extension, the company culture. Also, they provide positive feedback often – to the people that they supervise, and to their peers – because it’s a form of recognition that motivates and validates people. This also makes it easier to deliver constructive criticism when necessary.
When giving constructive feedback, leaders who coach engage in a conversation. They give a factual observation of something that may have gone wrong, and they ask coaching questions that encourage their colleague to express themselves as a means to better understand their perspective. So, they might ask: How do you see this? What do you think happened? What is your perspective on this?
Then, they will encourage people to create an action plan to improve the situation. So, the next questions may be: How could you do it differently next time? Which improvements do you think are possible? What is the next step?
Feedback is a dialogue between humans, it’s not a sentence, it’s not a judgement. Most people want to do their work well and are willing to improve when their dignity is preserved. Leaders who use coaching skills are able to recognize and reward good performance, and when necessary, they know how to create the right conditions for people to engage in improving their performance.
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Video tutorials on coaching
We don’t all mean the same thing when say “coach”. Learn about the different meanings of the word, and why the distinction is important.
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